Word of the Year 2025

Happy New Year!!

Every year I choose a word to focus on and this year is no different. In fact, it just might be the most important word of my life!

Before I reveal my new word for the new year, I would like to reflect on how my word for 2024 was applied and how well it went.

My word of the year for 2024 was JOY. You can read that post here.

Let’s reflect on how that went for me.

I didn’t know what was coming for us in 2024 and  I promised myself to be joyful in all things. I was going to focus on JOY. My husband’s illness was nothing new. There were ups and downs and we always got through them. So it was easy for me to tell myself I was going to be joyful no matter what.

When I chose the word my husband had just had a surgery where they dropped a radiation bomb into his liver to kill the cancer.

He couldn’t WAIT for that procedure if you can believe it, and we were so hopeful for its effectiveness.

He had been in and out of remission for 8 long years of uncertainty after they told us that he had Stage IV Kidney cancer.  He wasn’t supposed to survive it, but he did! And you can read all about that here.

He was really sick after the radiation bomb but he didn’t let that stop him and he never complained. He was amazing! His tenacity, strength, and will were unmatched. In February he was even working out in our basement and I was always in awe of his drive. Even though he didn’t feel good he still did it. He just wanted to get strong and get better.

We really do believe that his strong mind and healthy habits allowed his body to endure all that it had to go through during those 8 years.

He started to develop what we thought was a simple cold so he pushed through that. Then we discovered he had Pneumonia. But he still pushed through that the best he could.

In March we went on a trip to Newport Beach with some of our dearest friends and it was such a great time! He didn’t feel good, and slept sitting straight up because he couldn’t breathe well, but did the best he could.

That was our last trip together.

After we returned he was admitted into the hospital and put on oxygen at home. You can read more about that time here.

All the while it was the intense amount of radiation that had taken over and caused so much inflammation in his lungs that he couldn’t win that fight. And it was absolutely devastating for my family and me. I am able to talk to you about it now without completely breaking down in tears because it has been 8 months. I am still sitting in sorrow but moving forward as best I can.

So, how did it go finding joy in 2024? I really, really tried.

But the death of my husband made it almost impossible.

Sure, I had moments of JOY, like in this picture on this post, but they all had an underlying current of sorrow. And I still feel that today no matter what I am doing. I miss him.  A LOT!

I am a living paradox. I am both happy and sad at the same time. I never understood that truth before but I completely understand it now.

I have thought a lot about what I want 2025 to look like for me given the devastation that my life had to unwillingly hold and work through in 2024.

In the midst of figuring out how to carry forward the grief without it completely destroying me and discovering how to live a new life without my husband, my best friend who I talked to every single day, I have lost a lot of myself along the way.

I no longer recognize the girl in the mirror. I feel old and the body that is reflected back at me isn’t really who I am.

Where did that girl go?

The spirited and confident girl who wasn’t afraid to take on anything and believed she could do amazing things. She has lost that fire.

The sorrow that lies underneath every happy moment drags her back down.

I walk into my closet and see all of my husband’s clothes and it makes me sad all over again. The smallest thing can bring me from the highest high to the lowest low.

I stay up too late, watch way too much TV, drink too much coffee, and eat foods that I know I shouldn’t eat.

I commit to things that I don’t want to do, but do them anyway to stay out of the pit of sadness.

Thank goodness for my friends who have come alongside me and helped get me through!

And my dear, sweet children who lost their father. I thank God for them every day. They bring out a strength in me. They always have.

My self-care routine is almost nonexistent, and my home organization isn’t up to my normal standards.

I mean, I know nothing is normal anymore. But still, I feel this undercurrent of not having control.

And it snuck up on me.

I feel frozen in time. Like I am watching a movie of someone else’s life. And I am eating fists full of popcorn and can’t look away.

Don’t worry if you think it sounds harsh. It’s not. I do give myself grace and have many, many soft, gentle, and quiet reflective moments.

So, the moment that has been coming is here.

My word for the year is RECLAIM.

Regarding reclaiming in the Bible, 1 Peter 5:10 says, “And after you have suffered a little while, the God of all grace, who has called you to his eternal glory in Christ, will himself restore, confirm, strengthen, and establish you“. I feel this applies to my husband’s renewal in Heaven and the promise for me while on this earth. 

I am reclaiming my life from the grief in 2025!!

RESTORE was the other word I was thinking of. Can I do both?

I am starting Whole 30 tomorrow. You can follow along on Instagram Stories to see how that goes. I did it once before and loved the way I felt at the end. It isn’t about the weight. It is about reclaiming my health and resetting my body.

If you want to read about the last time I did Whole 30, here is a post that I wrote at the end of it and I gave you all of the great benefits I felt from doing it. I just reread that post and it is so inspiring!

I am reclaiming my dreams by beginning to dream about creating a home I love again. My husband and I wanted to do so many things to the house. Well, let’s keep it real. I wanted to do so many things and he was excited to watch me do the things I talked about doing every day.

We would brainstorm together on our walks about how I would approach the projects. He isn’t here to do that with me anymore, but I am going to move forward with all of the things we talked about and make them a reality!

I am reclaiming my home by cleaning out closets and organizing spaces so the weight of the “stuff” can finally be lifted off of me. It just sits in the back of my brain like it sits behind closed doors.

And lastly, I am reclaiming the JOY that was stolen from me last year.

I am so excited about this new energy! Yes, I am still sad. I don’t think that will ever go away. I miss him SO much I can’t even put it into words. But I am excited to pour my energy into things that will improve my life and help me live while I am here. My husband always said “tomorrow is promised to no one”.

I want to honor my able body, my warm and safe home, my beautiful mind, and my audacious dreams.

The time I have on this earth is being wasted away and death has been taking over my life, and I don’t want to feel this way anymore.

So I am making the decision that I am not going to. It is absolutely a conscious decision I have to make every day. And as long as I have one more day, that is what I am going to do.

Is it going to be easy? Nah. It’s going to be really hard. But I am going to give it my best.

My husband also always said “Do or do not. There is not try”. I am pretty sure that he was quoting Yoda haha. But I am not going to try. I am going to do it the best I can.

I hope you find inspiration in this post to choose a word to focus on for the year. Setting an intention has always given me such a good place to restart the year! If you decide on a word for the year, I would love to hear about it in the comments!!

You can see other Word of the Year posts below. I am not sure what happened to 2021 and 2023. But I started this blog in 2017 so here you go. I also reflect on the year before in these posts and check in on how the focus went.

2018

2019

2020

2022

2024

Set those goals, set intentions, try new things, and do things you have been waiting to do. Be the best you yet!